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Dear Diary,                                                                                                                                                                           November 13, 1988

    I was up at the Hornes' having a session with Johnny. One of his doctors, Dr. Lawrence Jacoby, joined us to shoot a few rubber buffalo.
    I was immediately aware of Lawrence's attraction to me, not that that was the issue, but where his attraction came from was.
    He had fallen in love with the “two Lauras,” the very reasons for which I wanted so desperately to die. What I considered a curse, he found enticing and honest. He did not mock my pain. He accepted it.
    So Dr. Jacoby and I began to meet secretly at his office. He just lets me talk and I will sometimes try to shock him with the details of my darker self, yet he continues to accept them, accept me, always recognizing that the lighter part of me never wanted to do them in the first place. And so he forgives me. I know this may sound very sick and mean, perhaps, but I am almost consumed, at times, with hatred for him because never has he turned to me and confirmed my deepest fears - that I am becoming like BOB - bad.
    Maybe it is the way he says it is: I have simply forgotten how to be loved.

Laura
         <sub>-- from The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer


This is a roleplaying journal for Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks, made for fun and not profit. Played by Din at Maison de Portes.</sub>